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Have fun, get creative, and be happy with it. You owe no one else an explanation. There are a lot of folks out there who like to shame folks for having sex on the first date.

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If sex is important to you, as it is with many gay men, it might be helpful to get a measure of sexual chemistry early on. Not all dates are going to go smoothly. Sometimes you hit it off in one form or another, and sometimes there is absolutely zero chemistry. Your date may be a really nice guy! I have had several dates in the last year with some very nice young men…whom I felt very little desire to see again.

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